My uncle is mean to my brother. What did I do? Ask Ellie RS News

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My uncle is really mean to my brother. He always says negative things to himself when he thinks no one else can hear it. My brother is not afraid of her, but he doesn’t tell my mother because he doesn’t want to upset her.

I didn’t know everything until I saw and heard something and asked my brother about it. She admitted that my uncle had been mistreating her for a few years.

Luckily, we don’t live in the same country so we see them once or twice a year and only for a few days at a time. We didn’t see them at all during COVID-19 but we had a family reunion this summer.

I’m not sure what to do. I’m glad my uncle doesn’t respect me, but I don’t want him to treat my brother badly anymore.

Protective Brother

AYou must tell an adult what your uncle is doing. If you are worried about upsetting your mother, tell your father or someone you trust. What he did to your brother is more than just bad and unkind. Verbal and emotional abuse.

No one deserves such abuse, and it must be stopped. And while I can’t guarantee it, I’m sure your mom would love to know and stop this behavior. Yes, you may risk your uncle’s dislike, but you will be saving your brother from constant abuse.

You have this.

Q My best friend’s brother told his girlfriend, who is very close to my girlfriend, that I cheated on her when we went on a boys’ trip this summer. I did no such thing. In fact, we were going on a stag do, and it made me realize that I was ready to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I have never and never will cheat on him.

But my girlfriend is now upset and doesn’t talk to me. How do I fix this situation?

He was charged

AWhat a tragedy. But why does your girlfriend believe her friend so easily, without even giving you a chance to explain yourself? When he gets old, he writes a letter to him. It may be the only way.

Q I have a friend whom I love enough. We met years ago through our then girlfriends, but kept in touch as we were in the same profession. We both love golf and sailing so we spend a lot of time together in the summer. We have been on vacation together.

But every fall and winter, he’ll call me and invite me out for drinks, and if I say yes, ask to borrow my leaf blower or snow blower, depending on the season. I enjoy his company so I’m always happy to say yes, but I find it strange that he needs to invite me to borrow my equipment.

I’m not sure if he likes me as a friend or if he likes things to get.

A Full Friend

AI see the problem you are in. To reduce doubts about your friendship, you need to jump the gun on this. As soon as you see the leaves starting to fall, call him yourself and ask if he would like to borrow your blower. You will definitely take him by surprise.

He may be shy; but if he is really a friend, I hear him reply, “Thank you very much.” But that was always my excuse to see you in the off season. When can we go for a drink?”

At least, I hope that’s what he thinks. Let me know how it plays out.

ANSWERAbout an Uber driver who sometimes has rude and disrespectful customers (Sept. 2):

Student: “You are seeing a lot of people in our country. The sad truth is that these people will be there in whatever job/sector/work they do later.

“There will be ‘idiots’ in all aspects of his life. And, there’s really nothing he can do about these people.

“So my advice follows Lisi’s. But, I can add one very important point. Be proud of who you are and never back down from his standards.

“My car is clean, I don’t smoke and I keep the windows cracked to keep the air flowing. I’m quiet and friendly, I greet people when they get into my car and ask them if the temperature is comfortable.”

I would also suggest that he visit bookstores and research ways and means of dealing with these people.”

Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are consulting writers for the Star and are based in Toronto. Email your relationship questions to: [email protected]


Discussions are the opinions of our readers and are subject to Code of Conduct. The Star does not endorse these views.



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